Classes canceled...

Well, today I was supposed to start my Figure Drawing class (third session), but instead, it got can celled due to poor enrollment!. I guess the economy caught up with us. I'm really disappointed, because I've been taking this class for a while now and not only is the instructor wonderful (Amy Burris), but the group was really beginning to become close, the models are great and it does wonders for my creativity. I have turned several of those drawings into paintings and I still have a whole bunch I need to organize (me, the eternal procrastinator...). Maybe I'll post some, maybe I'll make my husband pose for me, (wouldn't be the first time.)... although I don't know how comfortable he would be with his drawing on my blog, oh well, guess I'll find out.

So, today, I don't know what I'm going to do. I have a couple of projects, so I guess I'll work on those. I'm so disappointed...

Morning Glory

This is the first piece I finish using almost exclusively Acrylic Inks (I used a couple of specs of white pastel here and there, I must confess). I love Morning Glories, and this year we planted them right outside our door. Everyone in my hose is mesmerized by them. So, after taking a dozen pictures and watching them for a month, I decided to give it a try and this is the result!.

Counting Stars

"I count the stars one by one
because I know that all of them
are flowers that in the sky are growing for you
and thus you ascend to new heights
I'm left in the dark
but I am not afraid that's how it's supposed to be"

Chorus from a song by Caramelos de Cianuro (Cyanide Candies), called "The Stars"

I am a big fan of their music and this is one of my favorite songs, but unfortunately only had cassettes, so I eventually lost all the music I had from them. Until one day, thanks to iTunes I was able to download one of the records I had lost, which is where this song is.

I was inspired by it and this painting is the result. It's about falling in love and how the world changes around us when we find our soul mate. It took me a while to complete, because besides being a 36"X36" oil, I was working on two very different pieces at the same time: this one and "I don't want to" (the one I posted before). Not only are they different media and size but the emotional aspect of each is almost the opposite of the other. To me, my emotions are like fuel when I paint, and I need to get in the right state of mind before I start working, so I couldn't just jump from one piece to the other while it dried like I usually do, I had to wait until I "felt it". In the end, I finished both, although sometimes it felt like I was going to have to start again from scratch (wouldn't be the first time) but I did finish it and have to say this one is one of my favorites.

I don't want to

The ritual

Every day, every night
the same ritual with new noise
without scent, flavor or texture
only its blind idols.
I can't find a way to explain
to this box of illusions
that I don't need any new desires

I can hear them every night
their voices invade my dreams
without permission or excuses
they begin their nocturnal attack
and I can feel them gnawing at my bones
It keeps showing me everything I am not
I can only scream "I don't want to!"
This stupid TV set doesn't understand:
I don't need a new soul

I couple of weeks ago, someone made a comment to me (why don't you dress more femenine? or something along those lines). I am not exactly "girly", I don't wear make up, always take comfort over fashion, hate wearing clothes that look like everyone else's, I practiced martial arts instead of ballet,and yes, I'm allergic to pink (well, not really, I just don't like it). Suffice it to say that I heard a lot of "well-intentioned" criticism while I was growing up: "You should be more feminine", "you're wearing THAT???", "...but you're a girl!!"... you get the picture.So, when this person made that comment a couple of weeks ago, it brought back a lot of "memories" and reminded me of all the bombardment women are subjected to every day, since they get their first Barbie doll (I love Barbie, by the way). We are expected to look, behave and talk a certain way because we're girls, even if we don't want to.

It took me many years to be able to talk back to the world and our culture, but now I am able to feel comfortable enough in my own skin and when the world or advertisers try to make me feel inadequate asking me "why don't you...(insert you favorite cliche here)?" I can answer, politely and confidently: "Because I don't want to".

If you look at the painting up close you can read phrases I've heard my whole life (you're too tall, too fat, too smart, too loud, why don't you get lipo?, you should wear more make up, etc., etc). I wrote them in "waves", because they feel like waves knocking me out. I also wrote my response over the years (I don't want to go crazy like that, I don't want to be judged by you, I don't want to be like you) and on the right hand side it says "I don't need a new soul", because sometimes the world just makes me feel like I should change the very essence of who I am to please it, but I don't want to.

This was a very liberating piece to paint!

Eclipse

"It bewitches itself
and rests on itself
and pours and spills on itself
and over itself it rises
towards another song we cannot hear
music of music
silence and fullness
rock and tide
sleeping intensity
where sounds and shapes dream

It is the secret noon
The soul sings, facing the sky
and dreams in another song
just vibrating light
silent fullness of life"

Excerpt of "Midnight", by Octavio Paz.

Another night scene, I did this one from memory. I find his kind of painting very rewarding, meditative and peaceful...just like the night. Who knows what words are being whispered, what songs and poems being created as the magic of dreams comes alive?.